音乐小品  非诚勿扰
人物：李  总——财务总监
刘英俊——男
刀  朗——男
唐  生——男
郭  郭——财务人员
赵静芷——财务人员
白淑珍——财务人员
刘  姐——婚介公司经理
场景：公司员工宿舍
音乐起，艾薇儿《女朋友》。
李  总：（唱）
Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend
No way, no way, I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious
I think about you all the time, you're so addictive
Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright?
Alright, alright, alright

Don't pretend, I think you know I'm precious
And so yeah, I'm a hey, hey princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right
I'm right, I'm right, I'm right

She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everybody?s talking about

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend
No way, no way, I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me
No way, no way, you know it?s not a secret
本文发布在演艺圈门户网，演艺吧，请勿转载．域名www.yanyuanbiao.com .没有改变节目的本质。而现在呢?与其说是相声小品,不如说是以过年为主题的舞台剧。先说近来的吧。如果笔者没记错Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
And again and again and again

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear
Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear
I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again
And again and again and again

?Cause she's like so whatever
And she could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everybody's talking about

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend
No way, no way, I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

Oh, in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
Woo, 'cause I can, ?cause I can do it better
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
Hey, she's so stupid, just what were you thinking?

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
'Cause I can, ?cause I can do it better
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
She's so stupid, just what were you thinking?

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend
No way, no way, I think you need a new one
33据介绍,钟鼓楼相声会自2015年起,已成功举办四届,为上万名观众送去欢笑,成为东城区乃至北京市曲艺界的盛会,被众多观众称为“京城相声爱好者的节日”。往届的演出如果没有德云社?那么相声会不会被人遗忘Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend
No way, no way

Hey, hey, I know that you like me
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret
Hey, hey, I want to be your girlfriend
No way, no way, no way, no way
（这一首也可以放录音）
音乐停。（李总上场。）
李  总：我们做财务工作的就是忙，每天只见月亮不见太阳。员工工作干劲特别强，遇到困难就像狼遇见了羊。其实工作上我从来都不操心，可生活上我却难以把心放。眼看着她们的年龄一天天大了还没对象，我是看在眼里急在心上。正好我的好姐妹在婚介公司当经理，我就跟她说了请她帮个忙。这不约在今天下午双方见个面，这好女更要配上如意郎。小郭，小赵，小白快出来。
几个人上场。（一个揉眼睛，一个打哈欠，一个抻懒腰）
几  人：李姐。
老  总：都准备好了吗？
郭  郭：还行。
赵静芷：差不多。
白淑珍：快了。
李  总：你看看你们几个，平时工作一个赛一个，再看生活中得过且过。都说兵熊熊一个，将熊熊一窝，我这么杰出的职业女性怎么就带出你们几个？真是让我恨钢不成铁。
几  人：啊？
老  总：我都让你们给气糊涂了，赶紧再精心准备准备，相亲的男生马上就到了。
刘姐上场。
刘  姐：现代人生活节奏越来越快，弄得年轻人都没有时间谈恋爱。据说现在都到了剩女时代，男生退化得特别奇怪。不是我不明白，世界变化快，女生越来越帅，男生越来越乖，唉，没办法，阴盛阳衰！
李  总：刘姐，你来了，欢迎欢迎。（握手）
刘  姐：咱们俩可是组织者，得想个什么方法让他们见面。
李  总：我觉得就用电视上《非诚勿扰》的形式，你看怎么样？
刘  姐：好是好，不过咱们得变一变，都是年轻人，就采用歌曲的形式作自我介绍，怎么样？
李  总：好，就这样。
刘  姐：男生我都给你们带过来了，你们女方先出来我看看。
李  总：姑娘们，出来接客了。
刘  姐：啊？
李  总：口误，口误。我说你们几个，快出来见见贵客。
几人上场。
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